Fantasy vs. Reality

It is amazing how quickly we fall in and out of things.
One minute, we are self-possessed for someone or something.
And, the next it is like we are numb to these emotions we have just built up.
Granted; we, all have things that happen to us.
What is it that drives us all to love insanity?
What is it in our brains that says these things to us?
Why must we love this person?
What makes us choose what we do?
Must we only become besotted with this one person?
Must we drive all others away, in case something, might, possibly happen, one day with this person?
I feel like I am near and yet distant when it comes to the future in my dreams. It seems like; I am always in a dream.
Dreaming of mice, dreaming of destroying mice,
I am jumping into the fire, with no fear following me.
I always find myself dreaming of that man who is never realized in my reality.
He’s fading further and further each day.
Is he someone else’s reality?
And, does he want someone else to share his dreams with him?
Does he want me run in the other direction?
I wish I knew all the answers, but I only know the questions.
And, I grow colder yet stronger each moment.
It is the grandest test that I have ever had to see through to the bitter end.
I must live with these pent up emotions for him, forever.
I must lay here alone wishing he’d come to me in sleep.
Every day, I imagine some kind gesture he may throw my way.
And, if he did, I’d hope I’d be strong to not give in.
And, if he doesn’t, then, my life will feel so divided.
Why are people throwing their opinions at me?
Why do they say forget about this fantasy of yours?
Why?
Why should I?
I love my fantasy.
I love my fantasy so much.
Why would I ever, ever want to throw him away?
So, for now I live in my fantasy, hoping my reality will come, one day.